This e-mail exchange took place between My Love and I today.

Hello My Love...  Hi My Love!!!
I need you to measure the bicycle trailer and send me the dimensions before Thursday afternoon please. Specifically if you could measure the dimensions on the floor from the outside of the tubing to the outside of the tubing. The important thing is that the plywood is just large enough to rest on the tubing all the way round but not so large as to interfere with the canvas as it comes up on the sides. okeedokee, will do that... thank you for doing this!  Aren't we going to have fun on our bicycle day?!  It will feel so good to love them up to take care of them!!
I have a need to write again and feel like I should be sharing something but I don't know what or to whom. Its an odd feeling. Something welling up inside me that needs to be expressed. Maybe its just the anticipation building that I will finally be able to actually "write for real". I moved a little closer to getting ready for that as I re-routed my air ducting in the house to pick up the hot air from the wood stove and distribute it through the house. mmm... yes, probably what you are feeling is that anticipation as the time draws near to when you said you would be writing.  It is exciting - you are following through with what you planned.  Good idea to start some of the prep now... like the heating, and bringing up the proper chair.. etc...setting the scene...  
Most of my day was divided between research in the market and this construction project. Then this evening I sat out on the deck and cut up the rest of the pears to make pear sauce. The sun came out and blazed through the trees to illuminate my work. That's when the tears started to flow. In two days it will be six months to the day that Oma left us. Funny how we have these arbitrary time markers that have impact on our memory and perception. Friday will be just another day and yet at 2am I will likely remember. I think it is great how you do divide up your day and do various chores and projects!  I tend to focus on one thing and get absorbed in it.  Interesting to note the difference.   It's hard to believe that 6 months have passed already.  Ah, that linear time - what a construct! But it is what humans can grasp and boy do we hold on to it with both hands. It is hard to let go of that perception.  Perhaps anniversaries are for those who don't hold those memories close, except for on those dates?  Yes, you will remember at 2am on Friday... although, how many times since have you conjured up the memory of that moment and marveled at it? More importantly... how often have you spoken of Oma's life and marveled at it?
Maybe that's it, maybe I am keen to write to work through the memories. Taking the summer off to go sailing was good but the chapter is not closed yet. I am still engaged and will be until I write it all out. It feels like that idea that grabs you by the throat and doesn't let you go until you set it in words. I have even considered not going to the Friends of San Juan meeting this weekend because I feel its a diversion that I don't want right now. I believe it was wonderful for you to have had the summer to sail, garden, build your workshop, plan your greenhouse, spend time with your love, take the trip to Mt. Shasta... you needed that "time" after being so engaged. You will feel what is right for you right now. It is interesting to use the analogy of a book and its chapters.  To me, a book closes, the story is finished. Chapters finish but they lead on to the next chapter in the story.  Perhaps our lives are more like one wonderful story book, with many chapters, telling of the many experiences, learning, adventures, that carry us forward... to the next chapter... which can many times reminisce/recount the past which influences/impacts the present and future...  
Just a little rambling to share what goes on in your love's mind. I know... thank you for sharing... and I know you don't need or expect any reply... but I wanted to...
Love you so my love,
me
      I love you so, My Love

 


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