October 4th, 2006

I'm looking for my phone!!! What could I have done with it! Now the battery is down and the page thing doesn't work anymore. I cannot find it anywhere. I've spent hours looking for it. It will likely rain tonight and if I've misplaced it outside the rain will probably kill it beyond repair.

What's it all for? It's a question that haunts me still. Before I sprang up to scour the out of doors one more time for my phone I was tilted back in Oma's treatment chair reflecting. At the end o the day, what is the purpose of life? None of the answers make sense save one and it seems almost trite. I glance up at the string of apple rings that hangs over my desk. Before drying apples they should be peeled. Why would anyone want to read about my musings? Ah but its not for the reader that you write but simply because you must release your thoughts by setting them down on paper. It matters not if no one ever reads these words.

Today I cut up some firewood. Bio-fuel they call it now. There is a school of thought that compares ancient sunlight with relatively current sunlight. Ancient sunlight being fossil fuels like coal and oil and recent sunlight being anything that has converted sunlight into energy while in the process locking up some CO2. The theory is that if you burn materials with current CO2 stores you are just participating in a natural cycle whereas if you burn ancient sunlight you are retrieving the CO2 from where it has been safely stored for millions of years and re-introducing it into the atmosphere to add to the cycle.

So there is an issue, one I will write about in more detail on my website this weekend. But what of it? Why be concerned about future generations of the fate of your grandchildren. At the end of your life, what matters? Things that seemed so important in the middle of a life stream seem silly and trite as one approaches the end. What do we long for at that last moment? To make more money? Save another tree? Take a cruise? Learn Calculus? Buy a new house? I think not.

What it comes down to it seems, over and over again, is simply this; it is important to love. Manifest love in this world and, and here is the clincher, do the best you can to make it possible for others to do the same.

Ha! Here may be my answer. It flowed out of my fingers for me to read it on the screen. It's not only about manifesting love but also about making it possible for others to do the same, even the unborn. Maybe that is the reason I write: To encourage others to manifest their love in this world. It sure bugs me though that I can't find that phone…



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