Dear Friends:

Oma does not like others to know about her condition because "I don't need their pity or negative energy". Still I thought it would be good to send an update because I know that many of you care deeply for Oma and even though her words and actions don't always show it she cares deeply for all of you. I trust that you will "hold her immaculate concept" as she would say and send her positive thoughts of light and laughter.

After her heart surgery, Oma was prescribed Lipitor to help lower her cholesterol. Having learned that when lipitor was tested on rats before it received FDA approval all the rats died of cancer, I am convinced that the lipitor caused the cancer to re-surface. Slowly a lymph node under her right arm developed into a lump that was surgically removed this spring. Whether it was this surgical cutting about or the simple progression of the lump, the doctors tell us that the breast cancer is now metastasized. It has spread to her lungs and chest cavity. Basically since mother did not wish to remain in the hospital to undergo endless tests, prodding and probing they sent her home with instructions to seek hospice care 6 weeks ago.

Mother has been here before. 13 years ago, when she had a stage 4 breast cancer the surgeon told my sister that "it doesn't matter what we do, or when we do it, its too late anyway". By restricting her diet, eating lots of cancer fighting foods, exercising, drinking her daily dose of wheatgrass juice and taking her urine therapy mother was then able to arrest and control the cancer and consider herself cured. The difference is that now mother is 13 years older and in the intervening time she has rebounded from hip surgery, triple bypass and last summers accident resulting in severe head injuries, not to mention her ongoing battle with type II diabetes.

So now Oma is tired. Who could blame her. There are times when she strives to get better but most of the time her actions suggest a level of resignation and an acceptance of her inevitable departure from this life stream. Yesterday she told the nurse that she was ready to die but that she has it so good now that it seemed an ungrateful act to die now.

Nevertheless, without medication mother has severe difficulty breathing. It feels to her as if someone is standing on her chest. Currently Oma is on 2 medications, Vicodin and Alprazolam. Between the two at just the right doses I am able to keep her pain and anxiety free most of the time while still maintaining a lucid state of enjoyment and ability and willingness to interact with the world around her. Oma craves wind and fresh air so we spend a great deal of time outside. She likes to sit on the deck here or drive in the car with all the windows down. Every afternoon we find ourselves in County Park around 4pm where she sits in her folding chair looking over Haro Strait facing the breeze.

It is a magical time in many ways. I am blessed with the ability to be here for her 24/7 and spend the time to make her days as joyful as possible. My Love is understanding and accepting of my commitment to mother's care and my sisters come and provided some relief once a month to spell me so I can be with Laura for a few days. The time in the park has given mother a nice tan and she has what seems to all the world a healthy glow about her. The drugs help her to sleep at night and we are still counting our blessings every day.

 That's our news for now. We hope that all is well in your world and that the magic of life brings a smile to your lips every day.

On a beam of light,
Thomas