As some of you know from our telephone conversations, mother has been sleeping well at night lately. Usually from 11 to 7. Today was the first morning she woke up at 5:30. As you also know we have been increasing mother's oral medications steadily since she went on the patch two weeks ago and are now almost back to where we were before that. She is getting 5 full doses of Vicadin and Alprazolam a day again plus the patch.   

Last week when mother started to sleep more I told Laura that I sensed that mother's body was entering a new phase of accelerated decline. I am here to confirm that this is indeed the case now. There is no way of telling if this means that her departure is imminent since mother's spirit is still holding on but I suspect we are now talking weeks instead of months. It will also force my hand to give her more and more meds and that will make mother more and more sleepy. I also suspect that the relatively slow deterioration we saw over the summer will now be replaced by a more rapid decline. The mass in her abdomen has grown considerably and as we know cancer cells multiply exponentially.   

When Trish checked mother over yesterday she said that mother's breathing is very light and more shallow than ever, she has some crackling in the bottom of her lungs and her respiration is at 32 which is high. Mother is also exhibiting more and more tremors that are often so uncontrolled that I will have to start feeding her any day now. She is resisting that a little still and I want to let her try as long as she wants to but that step is also imminent.   

Spiritually mother claims to be ready. She is letting go more and more and I would not be surprised that the trip to Roche Harbor Resort that we took a couple of days ago was her last. She asks me to be with her almost constantly and therefore these updates might become even less frequent. However she is still directing traffic a bit and of course she loves her music to no end. She has lots of questions and finds great comfort in our little talks as they incorporate all her beliefs and fold them into an understanding of what is happening to her.   

Trish and I discussed mother's medical needs quite extensively yesterday and she is doing some more research into alternatives to the 10mg morphine tablets that we have for breakthrough pain. We want something here in case mother stays to the very end of her body's endurance. Something  that we can administer easily even if mother can't swallow. Trish also suggested that its now time to apply a second patch and double that dose from 25 to 50 micrograms.   

Mother just called me upstairs to express that she felt fearful. I asked her what she was afraid of and she said "Everything". Then I asked if she was afraid of dying and she resolutely answered "No". Then she clutched my arm and was very reluctant to let me go and finish this e-mail and prepare breakfast.   

All this having been said we are still grateful for the blessings of this wonderful experience. Each day brings new wonders and learning, new challenges and opportunity to manifest our love. "Love is the Key" mother reminded me. The key to what I asked. "Everything" mother answered. The key to the universe.   

On a beam of light,
Thomas  

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I thought I would forward the e-mail correspondence from Trish to all of you. It is such a blessing to have Trish as our home health nurse. How wonderful that she connects with Oma in a spiritual as well as a physical sense. How blessed we are.   

Oh I just can't stop reading. I first started reading Oma's writings and wept... I am reminded of so many lessons I have learned, but haven't continued to practice...Oma's writings reminded me so much of a teacher I once had...Ramtha...I felt like I was in Ramtha's presence when I was reading Oma's writings.....I felt like I had a wonderful opportunity to reach into Oma's spirit...to understand her in a more profound way...I realize when I look into Oma's face I see the face of God...Oma is still teaching...I feel so blessed to be a part of her life..in this chapter, the final chapter of her life.

Thank you for sharing your stories and such an important part of your life and Oma's life. Your journal of loving and caring for Oma will no doubt inspire others to find a way to love and care for their parents. What an extraordinary gift.

I will find a way for this dear daughter of another patient to access this information. I may print it out as I'm not certain she has a computer.

I will be out to see Oma at about 2:30pm. Please let me know if that isn't a good time. I could come later.

Fondly, Trish