| As some of you have already
heard we have entered another phase. The tumors in Oma's abdominal
cavity have grown to the point where they are not only exceedingly
visible but as of yesterday morning have also started to cause more
pain than the regular high doses of narcotics are able to suppress.
As a result we found ourselves trying to catch up with this
"breakthrough" pain and get ahead of it by, at one point,
administering extra strength morphine as often as every five
minutes.
By the time we started our shifts sitting with mother at midnight we had her pain under control again and now mother is pretty much out of it with all those narcotics in her. Thankfully they do not cause any hallucination or other discomfort except that she is generating quite a bit of foam which needs extracting every 15 or 20 minutes. The relatively short struggle with pain yesterday notwithstanding, it is still amazing how smooth and comfortable this process is turning out to be for mother. I chided her yesterday, telling her she has two or three human angels caring for her here in her Shambhala and she has legions of them waiting for her on the other side to take her home to her loving God. Last night when we felt that maybe this would be the night for her to go, I stepped outside to look at the sky. It was a clear night with an almost full moon reflecting off the ripples in the bay. The stars were bright enough to touch as they sparkled between the canopy of the trees. What a grand night for an ascension I thought to myself. Alas, here it is 10:30 and we are still here. In the glory of this sunny day it feels like I have been here before and I would not be at all surprised if mother stays with us for a little while yet. But whenever she chooses to make her exit, the time we have spent together in this process has been nothing more than incredible. Its hard to wipe the smile off my face that our dreams would be realized like this. Last night when it was my turn to sit with mother I hummed along to Andre while changing her diaper and massaging her legs. How wonderful it is to manifest so much love in this world.
On a beam of light
|
|
